Tom’s Story - My parents' struggle with infertility and what it taught me

By Thomas Hopkins

I clearly remember the day that Chris, my twin brother and I learnt that we were “IVF babies”. In a heart-to-heart conversation, my parents explained that, for some time, they had struggled to conceive. They eventually sought help from a fertility specialist and with the assistance of IVF - and to my parents’ utter delight - Chris and I were born.

Their account made a huge impact on me. I knew this was a story I wanted to share. So, I hope that it resonates, not only with other “IVF babies”, but also with those who have struggled to start a family.


With my twin brother Chris, 2 months old

With my twin brother Chris, 2 months old

My initial reaction to the news was a mixture of pride, surprise and amazement – but I also realised that I had no clue about infertility, fertility treatments and the struggles faced by those with fertility problems.

It was hardly surprising, as when I was at school the sex education curriculum covered the “mechanics” of human reproduction, with a slant towards contraception and avoiding pregnancy. We didn't cover topics such as infertility or IVF. Yet it’s a surprisingly widespread problem; most of us will know someone affected by infertility. That’s how I came to realise the importance of having access to clear information about infertility, from an early age.


With my twin brother Chris, 7 years old

With my twin brother Chris, 7 years old

If you are struggling to conceive, lack of knowledge can sometimes lead to a delay in seeking professional advice; and feeling overwhelmed by the amount of information when you do seek help! There is a lot of contradictory and sometimes even incorrect information online, which adds to the confusion. Having clear, accurate information ultimately leads to making better decisions.


With my sister and my twin brother Chris

With my sister and my twin brother Chris

I now know what a tough time my parents went through, access to external support during this time ought to have been available, but was not. My parents had been so eager for the fertility treatment to work, despite being given a relatively low chance of success (this was after all, the early 1990s). They had been under tremendous emotional stress; fortunately my parents were there for each other.

Realising just how wanted my twin and I were, was a “lightbulb” moment for me. My curiosity grew and grew. I wanted to learn more about the whole area – everything from reproductive health to infertility, IVF and other treatments. Fast-forward ten years and my interest in the subject has not waned. I’m now doing a PhD on female fertility and bioengineering -a subject I’m passionate about.


With my twin brother Chris, 22 years old

With my twin brother Chris, 22 years old

I’ve also been lucky to work for Gynii Me for three years now. Our mission is to enable access to the right fertility help and to provide reliable, independent and easy-to-understand information that supports you in making informed choices on your fertility journey.

Knowing what my parents went through, I can't wait to see how Gynii Me’s services can help those struggling with starting a family.


About Thomas Hopkins

Tom holds a 1st Class honours degree in Biological Sciences from The University of Birmingham and a Master’s degree in Reproductive and Developmental Biology (with Distinction) from Imperial College, London. He is currently completing a clinical research PhD in women’s fertility at Imperial College. Tom has published articles in various fields, including environmental economics and biology and has presented his research at numerous conferences.

At Gynii Me, Tom is responsible for product development and the fertility awareness programme, working closely with team members to deliver powerful and informative content. He is passionate about public outreach and the communication of women’s health topics, particularly the impact of mental health on fertility outcomes.

In his free time, Tom enjoys playing music, sailing and sport of all kinds.


The Gynii Insight community was created to share expert knowledge, as well as your experience and opinions. We’d love to know about your fertility experiences so, if you have a story to share, please get in touch.