Tom’s Story - My parents' struggle with infertility and what it taught me

I clearly remember the day that Chris, my twin brother and I learnt that we were “IVF babies”. In a heart-to-heart conversation, my parents explained that, for some time, they had struggled to conceive. They eventually sought help from a fertility specialist and with the assistance of IVF - and to my parents’ utter delight - Chris and I were born.

Their account made a huge impact on me. I knew this was a story I wanted to share. So, I hope that it resonates, not only with other “IVF babies”, but also with those who have struggled to start a family.

My initial reaction to the news was a mixture of pride, surprise and amazement – but I also realised that I had no clue about infertility, fertility treatments and the struggles faced by those with fertility problems.

It was hardly surprising, as when I was at school the sex education curriculum covered the “mechanics” of human reproduction, with a slant towards contraception and avoiding pregnancy. We didn't cover topics such as infertility or IVF. Yet it’s a surprisingly widespread problem; most of us will know someone affected by infertility. That’s how I came to realise the importance of having access to clear information about infertility, from an early age.

If you are struggling to conceive, lack of knowledge can sometimes lead to a delay in seeking professional advice; and feeling overwhelmed by the amount of information when you do seek help! There is a lot of contradictory and sometimes even incorrect information online, which adds to the confusion. Having clear, accurate information ultimately leads to making better decisions.

I now know what a tough time my parents went through, access to external support during this time ought to have been available, but was not. My parents had been so eager for the fertility treatment to work, despite being given a relatively low chance of success (this was after all, the early 1990s). They had been under tremendous emotional stress; fortunately my parents were there for each other.

Realising just how wanted my twin and I were, was a “lightbulb” moment for me. My curiosity grew and grew. I wanted to learn more about the whole area – everything from reproductive health to infertility, IVF and other treatments. Fast-forward ten years and my interest in the subject has not waned. I’m now doing a PhD on female fertility and bioengineering -a subject I’m passionate about.